waiting for the other shoe

so i spent a quickly slow 16 days in the hospital, some of which I think my doctor was just trying to give me a break from the constant stress and emotional abuse at "home", which is great, other then using up medicare days. You don't see cancer patients counting out their chemo days, trying to figure out if they have enough left before they have to pray to every concievable god for remission, diabetics aren't given a certain number of insulin shots per year, children aren't allowed a certain number of ear infections before the age of 10, and yet I can only get so sick that I'm a danger to myself a certain number of days and still get the propper treatment for it.

and to top it off, a week or so of intensive, all-day out patient, which apparently, someone said, are actually taken out of my inpatient days, and yet I wasn't inpatient. if i'm paying the same for it, I should get three meals, a snack, and free laundry.

the last two weeks of that treatment happened to overlap the beginning of the semester as well, and now that classes are cancled today, I've effectvly missed three weeks. thankfully I think I can reduce my credit load further without giving up aid, especially because a lot of professors are saying I've missed too much to catch up. So i'll just have three classes, a lab, yoga and tai chi, besides I had planned on taking the semester off anyhow, this way i get the benefits of being a student, medical care, bus passes, e-mail, computer labs...

Because of all of the above though, today i've gone through a complete spectrum of emotional chaos, and it's taking it's toll on my stomach, reflux, digestive problems, not to mention my hair's falling out.