Friday, May 23, 2008

bad feeling about this

i just don't feel ok. my therapist is now out of the country, unreachable, i missed a psychiatry appointment, not quite sure why, a counseling student cancled on me for next week, i dont really have anyone i can call if i get out of it, or atleast someone who won't think i'm just completely psychotic when i try to describe what i'm feeling, and no lack of credit to them, it's just something that sounds crazy. it's getting hard to shower or leave the house, i've been having thoughts of just taking seroquel every 6 hours and staying in bed all weekend........ i know, not good, not a good idea at all, i dont like not having a saftey net, well not having one short of inpatient, or the crisis center........wait there is a new crisis center....ok, maybe i'll try that, if i dont know too many people working there. i just feel like i'm crashing and i dont like it. i'm tyring to reach out, but then i dont know if it's "bad enough", or if it's important or if i'm just trying to get attention or what, it gets very confusing, and i don't quite know who to go to or what to do

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