Monday, December 31, 2007


i've been occasionally having trouble forming words when i speak. i haven't tracked it, so i can't decern any possible triggers. it feels like there's a glitch before the brain sends a signal to the muscles. like I dont know the word, or don't know how ot say the word, don't know what's in the word, or........something. I have to think of how to say it, ot how it's said or something when i start stumbling over a word.

therapist has suggested younger personalities or parts, ones that are just learning or haven't learned to speak yet, trying to come out, or say something or experiencing something.

i really, i can't say, i'm conflicted as to if i want there to be parts or not, it could explain things,'s , well, terrifying, I keep telling myself it's ok, and it'll be fine, but it's on the most fundemental level, scary. it's the foundation and very fiber of your soul that has, not betrayed you, but in protecting you has gotten snagged up into a bit of a mess frankly.

i keep saying, if this was in a client i was seeing, it would make sense, it would be so much easier to understand but for some reason, because it's in *my* head, it's infinatly harder to understand and accept. why, i'm not sure.

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