trying

this is trying and i am trying and i keep trying, at least i'm trying to try. i think i am, i hope i am, i'd like to think i'm trying. this is really hard, and every night it seems i get that fleeting but terrible omg-i can't do this, i don't want to do this, someone please help me feeling, and as short as that is, it's horrible feeling, it's a horrible feeling, i don't know what to do, i'm going to go without my therapist again, for another week because i have to have a medical procedure done, i hate these feelings, and i hate being alone , i hate this.